The Doors of the Church Are Open

(Tried to post this yesterday (4/18), but every computer I tried to get on told me no. So I tried today...enjoy.)

*Blog*

(Today's Blog is brought to you by "Peeps", now on sale at a Walmart near you, 10 packs for a Dollar)

Well, I hope everyone had a good Easter. Hope you had lots-o-eggs-candy-cakes-and-pies. Mine was okay, except for the fact that the black beast was in the shop the entire time I was off. Just got it back yesterday, and lets just say, payday can't come soon enough. To make a long story short let me just say this, it's not good to start adding "power adders" to your vehicle without upgrading everything around the car -- like for instance, motor mounts. I was told that too much torque sent my motor mounts straight to hell. That was fun. Mechanic even made fun of me. Good times all around eh?

Okay, let me go on record as saying I hate the "Discount Flooring Direct" kids. Seriously. It's nothing personal, except for the fact that the commercial is on more than Michael Marsh. I mean good God. I swear I checked my voicemail yesterday and that little kid at the end left a message on my phone: "Oh yeaaaah...." Damnit.

Random T.V. Commercial:

"To find out if your pacemaker or defibrillator are on the recall list, call attorney Robert Goldwater!" Okay, well, what if it's too late and you're already dead? Can someone else call for you? Can someone find this out? Can someone, you know, "get answers?"

People from Kenya should be banned from all marathons. I honestly don't know why other people even enter.

Actual conversation between me and Security Guard Bob:

Bob: "Were you here last week when he had all that riff-raff?"
Terry: "No."
Bob: "Well, some lady showed up demanding that we put her on air. We asked her to leave but she said she wasn't going anywhere until we put her on the air. So I told her, Ma'am, you're on private property and you have to leave. She refused again, so I told her, you can either leave on your own accord, or I can call the cops and have them carry your ass outta here. So she said, "What's your name". I said, "Bob Jones." And then she asks, "You gotta badge?" I said, "No, but I gotta gu-un!"
Terry: (can't stop laughing)

You see, working overnights aren't so bad.

Random Newsroom Comment:

Todd: "I'm here to tell you that if another hurricane makes it into the gulf, Governor Blanco will activate the entire national guard, and evacuate the entire state."

Hey I have an idea. We could have the little kid from the "Discount Flooring Direct" commercial co-anchor with MM. Ratings? THROUGH THE ROOF!! Marsh can read the stories like normal, but at the end of every block, just before the break, the little kid will go, "Oh yeaaahhh!!!" Make it happen.

Okay, Michael Chertoff looks like "Fire Marshal Bill".

I'm pretty sure I can't be the only one that noticed that the same family who ended up shipwrecked on a desert island while enroute to New Guinea, coincidentally ended up on a farm in the midwest just three years later before eventually shooting their dog , Old Yeller. Just thought I should mention this.

Back to my weekend. Me and the Mrs. were "churchin'" it up for most of the day Sunday and, while we were getting our "pray on", I noticed several things while visiting the the two churches.
Faces: Contrary to what everyone believes, not everyone in church wants to be there. With the exception of a couple of "Holy Rollers" and the old folks, most people were in church because someone dragged them. Now you may say, "hey Terry, how can you prove this theory?" Well, that's easy. The next time you go to service, pay attention to faces; men and children. While sitting at these two church services on Sunday, I saw looks on people's faces that could only be compared to those seen at P.O.W. Camps in those black and white pictures we see on The History Channel. Crazy.

Clothes: Clothes, clothes, clothes. Good God. I've never seen so much fixed hair and "store creases" before in my life. I thought I was in a church full of mannequins. Somtetimes I think the meaning of Easter and Christmas get's lost in between Dillards and Foleys.

Church Members: I don't know what it is, but people who for some reason, stop coming to church, decide to join back on Easter Sunday. Why? I have no earthly idea, but I don't know if it's all the pastors basically telling everyone, "if you're not a member of my church, you're going to hell", doing it or not. Or maybe it's that famous line after the "Morning Message" that makes the "backsliders" join; "The Doors of the church are open", followed by ushers walking to where the people who haven't been seen in church since last Easter Sunday are sitting and start pulling them up to the front. Who knows, but this is the one holiday, where you will actually find a church packed to capacity, and most times a little bit over capacity.

People: Somebody once said that you can find more "sinful" people in a church than you can find on a street corner, and you know what, who ever said that was absolutely right. On any given sunday, you'll find some of the worst people in the community sitting in church, smiling, shaking hands, and kissing babies. And for those who aren't "out there", a great majority of the people in church, knows all their business, and usually talks about it the entire service with the person sitting next to them. I have yet to meet one person who doesn't know something horrible about someone sitting in church every Sunday.

Going to church won't get you to Heaven any quicker than not going will send you to Hell. It's all in the person and their relationship with God. Agree or disagree, just my .02, take it or leave it.

(Peeps on sale, 10 packs for a dollar!)